I have never experienced a “Hell Week,” but I have been around enough high school football to know that the equivalent to that week for a high school boy HAPPENED to me this week as a mom/woman/wife/female.

I had a big, elaborate blog started, and then I stopped..Ctl-A, Delete.  And, I’ve been too scared to blog, because I can’t fake feelings right now…it’s just to much work.

I am 90% sure I miscarried.  I’ll find out for sure Monday.

Your questions now…

• Why did you not wait until Monday to post?  Because I am going to see LOTS of people this weekend, and I hate watching the heartbreak on people’s face when I have to reply with, “Oh, Thank you, but I’m pretty sure I miscarried.”  Re-hash.
• Are you ok? Sure.  I mean, if not now, then I will be.  It’s a natural part of life.  Something was wrong and my body needed to fix it.  I mean, come on… Nathan and I are fairly practiced at this…and they’re so gosh darn CUTE!
  
• Are you upset/mad?  No.  God has blessed me beyond my wildest DREAMS!  I’m getting choked up just thinking about it!
• Will you try for more?  Absa-freakin’-lutely!  We have to give a fighting change for that token boy for Nathan.  🙂 Although, I’m SURE I only make girls.  (Yes, I know Nathan decides that…but come on!  All the Davises only have girls!)

I know many women who don’t talk about miscarriages and are scared to celebrate in fear of losing the baby. Sisters, do you know how many of us there are?!!  I would never wish for any woman to fight these emotions alone!  EVER.  I need to celebrate with someone and morn with someone!  I am also an external processor and I know others are very internal, HEAR ME WHEN I SAY that I don’t think the way women hold it in is wrong, but let’s lift each other up in the tragedies like these.

More fuel to the “Hell Week” fire:

• Nathan was sick for two days.
• Girls came home with a fever twice.
• Battery died in the car.
• The hard Dr. apt was Monday and I have to wait until this coming Monday for another sono.
• I had to do blood work and I HATE needles.
• Insane work week-  I can’t really talk about this here, but it’s soooo…. um… insane.
• I felt like I couldn’t blog until I talked about this.  And I couldn’t figure out how I was going to do that.
• My best friend is moving to Greece.  {I’m going to miss you like CRAZY! But thank you, Lord, for technology & sending my friend to an AWESOME place for a DIVINE reason.}

OK!  I am done with my PITY PARTY!  I’m DONE!  There is that slim [VERY slim] chance that all will be well, and Monday this little peanut has endured and I will see a flickering heartbeat and ball like a baby AGAIN with THANKSGIVING for the Lord’s crazy gifts. AND THEN have to blog again saying “I’m Wrong!”  Oh, how I wish that would be the case…

But what I have clung to this week is this:

Happy weekend my sweet friends.  I will keep you posted on final results soon.
Thank you to TONS of you who have been praying and checking in on me.  I love the support that is lifting me up on weeks like this when I can’t stand on my own.
God is GOOD & It is Friday.
Thank you, JESUS!